Jay Gazing
by o fiSH o
Summary: Bradin sees, dreams and memorizes.....all Jay. BradinJay SLASH


title: Jay Gazing  
DISCLAIMER: don't own summerland.  
WARNING: SLASH M/M Bradin/Jay  
rating: PG-13

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Bradin sees things. People usually don't think he does, but, despite his age, he does. He notices them all. The small things, like when Johnny gives those longing glances towards Ava when he thinks that no one's watching, Bradin sees and understand, its that same look he gazes at Jay with. When Nikki comes out of her room with Cameron in tow, Bradin notices the faint pink tinges in their cheeks, and wishes that he were with Jay, perhaps doing the same thing. But most of all, he sees Jay. All Jay.

At first, Bradin thought that he was jealous of Jay, or hated Jay, most likely over Erika. Bradin was vulnerable, and Erika, an older woman, tolerated him and more or less loved him in a brother-sister fashion. She showed him the ropes, introduced him to surfing, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized, that when he saw Jay making out with Erika, he was jealous over the wrong person. He has often seen Erika with other guys, jerks mostly, and felt angered, only because of his protective instinct he had around her, like with Nikki. With Jay, all he sees are the slutty girls who never cease to try to get in Jay's pants. Bradin feels like ripping off their prosthetic faces and bodies, and thrusting them in Jay's face screaming, "Look at them! They're not for you, they don't deserve you!" Thank god Bradin had good self-control.He remembers the first time he saw Jay; he was only seven, and the Australian seemed so different from what he was used to in Kansas. The first thought that popped into his mind, he later recalled was 'he talks funny', and the twelve-year-old Bradin told him so. Jay only laughed in his Austrailian manner and ruffled his hair in such a way that made Bradin feel overjoyed and giddy.Fast forward about ten years, after the accident and his moving in with Ava, he remembered that first morning, when they all found Jay making out with some girl (Bradin hated the term 'girlfriend') in the Jacuzzi. At first he felt disgusted at Jay, partially because his little brother and sister had caught him in the act as well, but also because he blamed Jay for making him feel hot and bothered so early in the morning (After all, he was seventeen now.).Now, onto the part where he catches Erika and Jay kissing at the café, before the volleyball tournament. Walking in on them, he never felt more like the 'third wheel'. After a brief moment of loathing Erika, he reasoned with over emotional seventeen-year-old brain, that obviously Jay would want someone older, and for him, preferably a woman. It was laughable that Jay could even be in the slightest way interested in Bradin or any sort of guy. Wallowing in his depression, Bradin made his way to the volleyball tournament, and upon finding the welcoming bottles, he snuck a few. Even though he had never tasted the alcohol before, he knew the mind numbing effects, and that was exactly when he needed. It was still a mystery to him on how he managed to find his way home. The memories of that night were blurry, and consisted of blurry Jay, blurry punches, and Jay pinning him down, and if it weren't for the fact that Ava, Susannah and Johnny jumped down on the scene, he was sure that in his delirium, he might have leapt up and kissed Jay.When he awoke the next morning, while hurling his guts out into the trashcan, he finally realized (finally), that he was completely smitten with Jay. Even despite his raging hangover and hormones, he knew, and thought very clearly for the first time since the accident.The weeks and months following the epiphany were the worst. Now that Bradin kenw, his face never ceased to burn up whenever Jay was near. He didn't know exactly what it was that he was waiting for. Jay declaring his love for Bradin seemed unlikely (That would be assuming that he felt anything for Bradin in the first place.), but all the same, Bradin waited for something. When he was getting his ass kicked by the bastard who was hitting on Erika, and Jay showed up to defend her, he couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe Jay was defending _him_, protecting him (Bradin's favorite term for it was 'marking his territory').So while Bradin waited and wondered, with surfing and Jay-gazing ( As a horrible sort of pun, Bradin would wonder to himself whether his 'jay-dar' was working) in between, he dreamt as well, about things that people, Jay, wouldn't think he dreamt about......or maybe they would. He would, and was doing some dreaming as well.

end


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